Author: Scott Lyndon

Heaton Stan Comedy Night – 10 April 2025

We are delighted to confirm our next instalment of the popular Heaton Stan Comedy Night will take place on Thursday 10 April 2025 and tickets are now on sale!

<< CLICK HERE TO BUY TICKETS >>

Our four outstanding acts this time will be:

Phil Walker

Phil’s act has taken him to some weird & wonderful places, from a scout hut in Unst in the Shetland Isles to a porta-cabin on mount Alice in the Falkland Islands, basically he’ll go anywhere for a laugh! His great act, along with his warm personality & charm have made Phil one of the most sought-after entertainers around today.

“If you look in your local comedy club listings and ever see Phil Walker listed, get a ticket. One of the funniest acts out there.”
– Jason Manford.

JoJo Sutherland

Known for her charismatic stage presence and quick wit, Jojo is a favorite at The Stand Comedy Club in Edinburgh and Glasgow, seamlessly alternating between delivering her signature sets and compering, bringing a unique energy to each role. Jojo’s “healthy neglect” approach to parenting forms the backbone of her material, blending everyday grievances with motherly advice that resonates with audiences. As a mother of four, she draws from her rich personal experiences, including her memorable starring role in Channel 4’s award-winning series “Wife Swap.”

“ Effortlessly funny”  Entertainment focus

“ A conversational style with humour so interwoven it seems effortless.”  www.chortle.co.uk

“ A performer the audience could have watched all night” The Herald

“ Outclassed her colleagues.” Evening News

“ A very funny lady well versed in the art of comedy” one4review

Lee Kyle

Lee Kyle, described by the BBC as a “top up-and-coming comedy performer,” has spent much of his life on a never-ending quest to avoid having a proper job. From being part of an all-male Spice Girls tribute act to spending a decade as a professional wrestler, Lee’s unconventional career path eventually led him to stand-up comedy. Managing the difficult trick of being both odd and relatable, Lee’s jokes veer between the clever and the silly, delivering more than their fair share of belly laughs.

“Quirky and original – the highlight of the night” – Giggle Beats

MC David Hadingham

David Hadingham is a seasoned comedian known for his sharp wit and hilarious insights into everyday life. With a career spanning several decades, Hadingham has established himself as a stalwart in the world of stand-up comedy. His unique style combines clever wordplay, observational humour, and a touch of self-deprecation, creating a comedic experience that resonates with audiences of all backgrounds. Whether he’s poking fun at the quirks of human behaviour or sharing personal anecdotes, David Hadingham’s performances are a rollercoaster of laughter that leave audiences in stitches. His charismatic stage presence and impeccable timing have earned him a great reputation in the UK.

<< CLICK HERE TO BUY TICKETS >>

NOTE: Acts are subject to change – this sometimes happens for reasons outside of our control. We however promise to replace them with someone else who is canny.

COUNTDOWN: 1 DAY TO GO!

Just one more day to go until the big match. Todays post explores your match day food & drink options!

INSIDE THE GROUND

Stan Scran

Our very own catering outlet. You will be able to buy a range of hot food, hot/cold drinks and snacks.

Some of the highlights of the menu are:

  • Bacon Cheeseburger – £3.50,  Cheeseburger – £3, Burger – £2.50
  • Hot Dog – £2.50, Pies/Pasties – £2.50
  • Chips – £2, Chips & Gravy/Curry – £2.50
  • Hot Drinks – £1.50, Soft Drinks – £1
  • Snacks from 80p

NE Delhi

A range of Indian street food from our regular guests!

Heavenly Homemade

New to Stan match days, bringing you something a little bit different. Cakes and pastries, sweet and savoury!

Loki & Bean

Our regular coffee van for all of your hot drink needs, pitched up next door to the can van!

Stan Can Van

Quick access to a range of alcoholic and soft drinks sold in cans, including top quality real ales from our sponsor Overkill Brewery!

Clubhouse Bar

Our CAMRA award-winning bar with three cask real ales, lager, guiness, wines, spirits and other favourites. There will be a one way system for queuing so please respect this and do not try and queue jump!

OUTSIDE THE GROUND

We have various food outlets outside the ground. Whilst you are welcome to bring food in from these businesses, please note we will not allow re-admittance. So do not enter the ground & then try to leave to buy your Fish & Chips! Get it before you come in.

Willow 3

Our friends and sponsors at Willow 3 are running a match day special for this fixture which includes a voucher to swap for a drink once inside the ground!

Deer in the Dene

The cafe/restaurant are opening especially to sell their Pizza slices for £4!

Wok India

Asian fusion food in takeout form!

COUNTDOWN: 3 DAYS TO GO!

As match day draws closer, we would like to share some useful information about public transport options and local Parking.

We encourage you to use public transport wherever possible. This will be a busy fixture and parking options will be limited in the immediate area.

Public Transport

Buses:

Metro:

Parking

There is NO PARKING within the ground for spectators. Please do not try to turn into the ground as you will not be allowed entry.

There are pay and display car parks at the following locations:

  • Paddy Freemans Car Park
  • Castle Farm Car Park
  • Freeman Hospital Car Park
  • Sainsburys Car Park (time limited)
  • Four Lane Ends Interchange Car Park

Otherwise, street parking is permitted in the local area. If you choose to park in local streets – PLEASE BE RESPECTFUL of our neighbours. Do not block driveways, commercial premises or park across dropped kerbs. Please do not park on grass verges. Park in legitimate parking positions on streets and avoid double parking. If a fire engine cannot get past your vehicle, do not park there!

Heaton Stannington FC bears no responsibility for spectator parking in any areas – it is your responsibility to park safely and legally.

Map

The following Google Map pins a number of useful locations for your reference:

Open in browser: https://www.google.com/maps/d/u/5/edit?mid=1xV7rOs0tJma3-AHA9t1Nq1FsvTwUJQQ&usp=sharing

COUNTDOWN: 4 DAYS TO GO!

The Stan in the Senior Cup

The Senior Cup is the county’s premier competition & was 1st competed for in 1884. This season the Stan are competing in it for the 52nd time although this is the 1st time they have been drawn against Newcastle Utd.

The Stan first competed in the cup during the 1925-26 season when they were defeated 5-0 at home in the preliminary round by Jesmond Villa. They also entered the competition in 1938-39 & 39-40. Their 1st win came in January 1947, when they won 3-2 at Hexham Hearts in the 2nd qualifying round. After winning 2-1 at North Shields in the 1st round, they were beaten at home in the semi-final 2-1 by Newburn. They entered the cup for the next 25 seasons. In 1963-64 they made the final for the 1st time where they were beaten 4-3 by Whitley Bay after extra time.

After competing from 1946-47 to 1971-72, the Stan missed a season before returning to Senior Cup involvement for another 9 seasons. In 1980 they again reached the final when they were beaten 2-1 in a replay by Ashington after a 0-0 draw. After the 1981-82 season, the Stan did not compete again until 2005-06, 06-07 & again in 08-09. Qualification requirements were not met again until the Stan’s 2nd season back in the Northern League in 2014-15 when they lost away 5-3 to Alnwick Town.

In 15-16 they defeated West Allotment Celtic 2-1 at home in the 1st round & this was the Stan’s first win in the tournament since they had beaten Blyth Spartans in the semi-final in 1980. They won again 3-1 in the quarter final at Bedlington Terriers. In the home semi-final they lost 6-0 to Blyth Spartans. In 16-17 they beat Alnwick away 4-2 in the 1st round but lost 3-0 in the quarter final away to North Shields. In 17-18 they lost 2-1 at Team Northumbria. In 18-19, they beat Whitley Bay in the 1st round 4-3 at home but in the quarter final lost at home 3-2 to Morpeth. In 19-20, they were beaten at home 4-0 by Blyth Spartans in the 1st round.

The 20-21 tie against Morpeth Town was cancelled due to covid. In 21-22 the Stan started & finished in the quarter final as they were beaten 6-2 at North Shields. In 22-23, a 3-2 home win over Prudhoe YSC was followed by the Stan beating Ashington 3-1 at home in the quarter final.  The semi-final was played at Grounsell in front of a record 1339 crowd, but Blyth Spartans won 1-0. In 23-24, the Stan were beaten 3-2 at Benfield. This season’s road to the semi-final has involved winning at Whitley Bay on penalties after a 1-1 draw & a 3-1 win at Blyth Town.

BUY TICKETS:

Heaton Stan v Newcastle United – DATE CHANGE

Heaton Stannington v Newcastle United

The date of this fixture has been changed from Monday 3 March to Tuesday 11 March, in order to assist Newcastle United with accommodating a league cup fixture.

IMPORTANT INFORMATION:
All existing tickets sold/issued remain valid. If you still plan on attending, you do not need to do anything. If you can no longer attend the new date, simply e-mail info@heatonstan.co.uk with your order number and a refund will be processed.

Tuesday 11th March 2025
Gates Open: 6pm
Kick Off: 7:30pm

We expect this fixture to generate significant interest and draw a very large crowd. We therefore will be prioritising advanced purchased tickets – this enables us to monitor the number of tickets sold but also will help to ensure we can get people into the ground in the quickest way possible & minimise queues. If you do not purchase an advance ticket, we cannot guarantee entry on the night

BUY NOW

TICKET PRICES

Adults: £9
Concessions (Over 65s only): £6
Under 16s: £FREE – must be accompanied by a paying adult (see below)

Season tickets are not valid for this fixture.

UNDER 16 ENTRY – IMPORTANT INFORMATION

For this fixture, we will continue to operate our policy of not charging for children under the age of 16.

However, due to the larger crowd expected we have made a decision on safety grounds to only permit Under 16s if they are accompanied by a paying adult. The paying adult takes responsibility for the behaviour of the Under 16s which enter the ground with them.

ALL Under 16s require their own advance ticket – these are available on our Ticketing website to add to your basket along with any Adult/Concession tickets needed. A maximum of 4 Under 16s can enter with each paying adult/concession.

Any Under 16s who attempt to enter the ground on match day without an adult will be rejected entry – there will be no exceptions to this rule for this fixture. Drums will not be permitted.

TICKET SALES – ONLINE

You can purchase tickets online now from our Ticketing website via the below link:
https://heatonstanfc.ktckts.com/product/HEA2425H25

This is the recommended method of buying your ticket. You can save in your digital wallet on Android/Apple devices, have it e-mailed to you or print it. You must have the QR code on the ticket ready to scan at the gate.

TICKET SALES – IN PERSON

We will confirm further in person sales windows shortly.

Stan Fan 200 Monthly Draw – Express your interest!

We are looking to offer another exciting opportunity to support Heaton Stannington and give you the opportunity to win cash prizes each month. Entry will be £10 per month payable by direct debit. The start date will be confirmed once there is sufficient interest.

Initially we are looking to attract 200 participants which would allow us pay out the following prizes each month.

1st Prize         £300

2nd Prize        £150

3rd and 4th     £50

Then 4 prizes of £25

Obviously less or more participants would be reflected in the prize money offered.

On entry you will be allocated a number 1-200 and the draw will be made on the last day of each month (or nearest convenient date). Prizes will be drawn by our very own ERNIE (random number generator) in the clubhouse in the presence of members.

In order to gauge interest, please complete the below form:

    Dunston game moved to Friday night

    Our scheduled fixture at home to Dunston on Saturday 8th February 2025 has now been moved to the Friday night, 7th February 2024, with a 19:45 kick off time. This gives the Stan Army a rare opportunity for Friday night football, which has been difficult to schedule in the NPL due to the geographical spread of our opponents.

    We thank Dunston and the NPL for agreeing to the change!